How to Build a Space That Breathes

Backstroke & Breakthroughs – Post #24

There’s a difference between a meeting room and a space that breathes.
You know the difference the moment you walk in.

One feels tight. Formal. Controlled. You measure your tone, second-guess your input, and scan the room for safety.
The other? It exhales before you do.
It makes room for emotion. For uncertainty. For the kind of honesty that doesn’t always land clean but always lands real.

That’s the kind of space I try to build especially in DEI work.
Especially when helping organizations develop Employee Resource Groups.

Because an ERG isn’t just an internal club or a monthly Zoom. It’s a container for truth. And if it’s not built with care, clarity, and consistency, it quickly becomes just another performative layer, another space where people shrink instead of show up.

Here’s what I’ve learned from the groups I’ve helped grow:

🧱 Safe spaces aren’t declared they’re built.

You don’t get to call a room “safe” just because there’s a DEI banner on the wall or a few affinity-based snacks at the table.
Safety is a culture, not a claim. It’s earned through presence, follow-through, and visible leadership support.

🌬 Breathing space means flexibility.

Rigid rules choke honesty. Real equity work requires space for people to come as they are. That means understanding when someone needs to cry, or take a break, or not use polished language to describe their pain.

🧭 Inclusion requires boundaries and boldness.

A space that breathes isn’t chaotic—it’s intentional. That means setting community agreements, being clear about confidentiality, and calling in people who violate those agreements with compassion and accountability.

✨ A space that breathes evolves.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It needs to be responsive. I’ve learned that the best ERGs aren’t the ones with the most structure, they’re the ones where people feel empowered to shape the structure together.

I’ve carried this approach into public media, coaching, events, and even on-air work.
Because the goal isn’t just to host a gathering, it’s to hold a space.
And holding space is a sacred act.

This week’s takeaway:
If people can’t breathe in your equity space, it isn’t working. And if people leave feeling smaller than when they came in—it’s not safe, it’s performative.

The most radical thing you can offer your team isn’t another training.
It’s a room.
Room to feel. To speak. To shift. To be.

And that room can’t just live in your calendar.
It has to live in your culture.

Still holding space,
– J.R.